The more I work on my post about a fundamental moral system (the one that will enumerate my “moral tenets”), the more futile it seems, and the more overwhelmed I feel. Actually, I am bouncing back and forth between reasonable certainty that what I’m thinking about is valid, and a terrible inkling that I’m fooling myself and just as blind as everyone else. I feel utterly philosophically inept, with my thinking dried up and impotent around every corner as tiredness overwhelms me. See, I’m even mixing metaphors now.
I will make another effort to get the post written up tonight. The rest of this post isn’t about philosophy, but instead some relatively inconsequential personal worries, so I’ve enclosed it in a cut for those who don’t care.
Until then, there are a few other things that I’ve been worrying about. I tested my “body mass index” yesterday and was distressed it had gone up from 16 (top end of “normal”) to 19 (bottom end of “high”). I’ve only been playing DDR about once a week lately, and although I get a good workout, I guess it’s not enough. I’ve also been drinking more soda lately, which is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Case in point: at Thanksgiving 2003, I weighed in at 189 pounds, 15 pounds more than I had weighed in early 2003. I decided to kick my Mountain Dew habit, and play a lot of DDR, and I was back down to 179 within a couple of months. I have since resumed drinking soda more than ever, and it shows. My upper body looks terrible, and though I only weigh around 183, I look and feel fatter (and the BMI reading corroborates it).
I often feel that I lack discipline. I eat out nearly every day, sometimes twice, with food in my refrigerator rotting until I eventually throw it away instead of eating it. My grandparents gave me a wok recently, and I haven’t even tried it out yet. I typically arrive at work around 11 am, and even then I’m often tired from staying up until 3 am or later the night before.
I realize there is no temporary solution to these problems; it requires a permanent lifestyle change. And I also realize that too much discipline imposed will result in total failure. Moderation is best. So with those thoughts in mind (and following noonereally’s example), I am laying down some New Year’s Resolutions for myself, in a rare display of tradition.
- One can daily soda limit. One can means 12 fl oz. This means no soda from restaurants, unless the beverage size is 12 fl oz or less (which is never the case). If I do well with this, I may eventually drop soda completely, but I reserve the right to enjoy a tasty beverage now and again.
- Daily workout. Choices include (but are not limited to) weight training, DDR, running, and biking to and from work. Two-hour DDR sessions are not necessarily required; they take too much time. But I can get a strong DDR workout in 45 minutes or less if I push myself. Also, I’m tired of my upper body looking like crap. The tentative plan is to have three weight training sessions per week, and four “other” sessions.
- Stricter daily schedule. I am altering my schedule, starting now. Work time is 1000. Wake-up call is 0800 or 0830, which gives me time for a morning workout, as well as time to cook breakfast in the morning. (I can still pick up a sub on the way to work if I want, for lunch.) Alternately, it gives me time to bike to work, if the weather is acceptable, or drive to work early, so that I can go home early. Consequently, I will finish work by 1800 daily. Unfortunately, bed time becomes 0000 or 0030, which is earlier than I am used to. My goal is to get ready for bed at 0000, so that I have some reading time each night until 0030. Of course, all these times only apply to work days.
- Less eating out. Although monetary drain is an issue, my main goal is to learn more about cooking, as well as foster more variety in my diet. Anna hates cooking, which leaves it to me if I ever want anything complex at home. Now that I have a wok, I want to learn how to use it. So, my resolution is to eat dinner at home a minimum of four nights per week (more if possible), with at least one meal each week being something I am still learning to cook. I was originally going to say “something I’ve never cooked before” but I think that would actually be destructive to me memorizing new recipes. This way, if I like a dish, I can keep cooking it until I’ve mastered it, and then move on to something new.
- Keep track of my progress. To keep myself honest, I will keep a nightly journal where I write down time I got up that morning, what sort of exercise I got, what time I arrived and left work, what food I prepared, where and which meals I ate out (if I ate out), and what time I went to bed.
- I will not give up. Lastly, if I start failing in these goals, I will not abandon them. I will reevaluate the situation, and address problems that are keeping me from succeeding. If there are lapses, that’s unfortunate, but I will not allow myself to become discouraged enough to reject this plan completely. I will follow through on these goals for one year, even if it turns me into a total smeghead.
I think that covers all my bases. I have other goals for the year, such as learning more about Linux, and beating Legend Road by the end of June, but I don’t feel like those require codification. The above items are ones that probably wouldn’t happen otherwise. Just writing these goals down has made me a lot more hopeful.
“Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.”
--Ferenc Mantfeld