Hilarious grammatical incorrectness
Best spam in recent times: “Mobile is Eating the World. FOUR WAYS TO RETHINK CUSTOMER”
The hurrier I go
· 😞 disappointed
Stayed home from work today to catch up on my to-do list. Spent all day doing laundry, vacuuming, and scheduling our family’s summer calendar. Did not have time for any of the bugbears which have been sitting on the list for weeks/months/years. #sisyphus
Well am I making haste or could it be haste is making me?
What’s time but a thing to kill or keep or buy or lose or live in?
I gotta go faster, keep up the pace
Just to stay in the human race
—Bad Religion, “Supersonic”
Technological tribulation IV
Lisp has too many parentheses. Python does not have enough. Vim cannot fix my Python code.
Zero tolerance policy
Teddy: “Can I have a grapefruit?”
Me: “We’ll have that for breakfast tomorrow. Right now, please eat your dinner. You have blueberries, and edamame beans, and sugar snap peas, and grilled cheese, and doggies…”
Teddy: “I don’t have doggies.”
Me: “I know, I was being silly.”
Teddy: “You were being wrong.”
Almost alive
· 💀 exanimate
For the first time in nearly a week, I am wearing pants that are not pajamas.
Drafted into foreign wars
Nintendo just added Cloud to Smash Bros! Cloud vs. Ryu, for the first time! In a game published by neither Capcom nor Square. #omnisladoken
They're not wrong
You and me both, buddy
Teddy: “Dada, is the whole world happy? I just want the whole world to be happy!”
What a dick
Country music lyrical gem of the day: “The Lord made me hard to handle…. and I’ve still got a lot of leavin’ left to do!” Endearing.
Behold!
The LOCI server room is so beautiful now!
To infinity, and beyond
Me: “Teddy, where are your shoes?”
Teddy: “I have to have bare feet in public because I’m strong enough, and I’m Buzz Lightyear.”
Empathic defenestration
Me: “Teddy, why do you throw things out the window?”
Teddy: “Because I’m sensitive. Because I’m a man.”
Global minimum
My work inbox is empty for the first time in over two years. Quick! No one send any email ever again!
Super duper hero
Emily: “Dada! I made up a superhero called Bone Man. He looks like a skeleton but his skin is invisible. That’s why they call him Bone Man. When he punches bad guys it really hurts them because his bones are made of cement!”
Royal scavenger hunt
“It is the glory of God to hide things but the glory of kings to investigate them.” —Proverbs 25:2
Keen skeptical instincts
Me: “Emily, you had a chocolate breakfast, so you will grow up to be a chocolate man.”
Emily: “Chocolate mans don’t exist, Dada.”
Giant steps are what you take
Me: “Emily wanna walk on the ceiling?”
Emily: “No.”
Me: “Emily wanna walk on the moon?”
Emily: “NOOO! We’d die on the moon. We’d need to fly a spaceship to the moon. And we don’t have a spaceship.”
Of course! What was I thinking??
Gamifying futility
SO: “You’ve earned the ‘Tenacious’ badge (Zero score accepted answers: more than 5 and 20% of total).” Next up: ‘Ineffectual’+’Negligible’!
T-minus-20
Anna: Teddy, can you count to 20?
Teddy: 20, 4, 3, 2, 1!
An ailing smithy
SourceForge is down—8th time in 3 months. Ideal solution: all projects move SF→GitHub. Stopgap solution: boycott all SF-hosted projects.