- Player: Kelsey
- Age: 31
- Height: 8' 3" and growing
- Weight: 650 lbs and growing
- Gender: Male
- Occupation: Salesman at a Big & Tall Men's Store
- Talents: Throwing heavy objects; lifting things; punching very hard
- Allegiances: Wife, Daughter, Work, Friends (Liam, Matt, Jack, Lee, the bird)
- Status: Active
Gordon Schumacher is a devout football and soccer fan. He originally hails from Green Bay, Wisconsin, where he lettered three times as a defensive back in high school. He went to the University of Wisconsin - Madison, where he played for the Badgers, but a knee injury ruined his hopes of turning pro.
Shortly after graduating from college, he married his then girlfriend, Lisa Moore, and landed a job as a salesman for a "Big & Tall" Men's shop. They have a daughter named Emily.
Several years ago, Gordon began to gain weight. So, he tried to diet, but his rate of weight gain only increased. Desperate, he turned to eating only salads, to no avail. Then, he stopped eating entirely, but is still gaining weight. Soon, he also began to grow taller. He turned to doctor after doctor to help diagnose his condition, but they were all mystified. To this day, Gordon's name is known in certain medical circles as a scientific oddity. Gordon has gained approximately 400 pounds and almost 2 feet of height in the last three years.
About a year ago, he divorced his wife, Lisa, mainly due to arguments about his size. She retained the house in Brooklyn, WI, and custody of their 8-year-old daughter. He transferred to Pax shortly afterward, and was one of the people "killed" in the bombing. His relatives live all over the US. His parents have moved to Florida.