Callie’s Journal
Possible session titles:
- Good People On Both Sides
- Live and Let Unlive
A ghast pounds on the door and demands to know what’s going on. Oz sticks his head out the door and tries to get the ghast to go away using deception. The ghast agrees to wait.
Oz asks me to use my disguise kit on him, so I start doing makeup. He looks almost not entirely unlike Bilbo when I’m done. The real Bilbo is tied up and still invisible in his house, left on his bed with the covers rumpled so it looks like he’s just a slob. The ropes aren’t invisible, though, so this won’t stand up to serious scrutiny. How did he do that invisibility trick, anyway? That was cool!
We go outside and the ghasts are suspicious on the basis of smell, but don’t call us on it. We all hop on the ol’ magic carpet and head to the ball. Vondal somehow has a good mental map of the layout of the city, and also thinks there’s a spider-filled plane alarmingly but not immediately nearby. Why did he think we needed to know that?!
When we get to the castle, Oz/Bilbo pipes up that the “good-looking one” had the audacity to attack him, but we left him tied up back at Bilbo’s place. Heh heh heh.
When we enter the grand entrance hall, Lestache enters at the other end. He’s dressed even fancier than before, including a maquerade-style mask. He has provided food and drink, which we can enjoy in any of the private alcove rooms off the main hall.
Ozbo and Vondal have a loud argument about whether Ozbo should be greeting the guests or entertaining us in a side room, so already this plan is off to an excellent start.
“Our first guest has arrived! It begins!” announces Lestache.
A woman in a frilly gown leans down and demands Ozbo announce her. He makes an excuse about getting a head injury and begs her pardon, so she tells him her name. He makes a big show out of introducing her but forgets her last name, whoops.
Lestache tells her that she’s the first to arrive so she has the “first chance,” whatever that’s supposed to mean.
Ozbo asks Lestache if everything is set to go according to plan, and Lestache tells him he’d know better, since he’s the one who arranged most of it. Ozbo asks about the “main event” and Lestache looks confused and says, “You mean the hunt?” There’s a twinkle in Lestache’s eye and Ozbo fends off some sort of mental incursion. Lestache orders him to get in the alcove and entertain the livvies. He’s suspicious and concerned.
Oz comes into our room and lets us know that there’s a “hunt” planned, quarry unknown. Someone else is announcing the guests now. Eavesdropping, we find that Lestache has assigned a woman to the task who isn’t entirely pleased to have it. He owes her a favor now. Her name is Etria LeDuc, the Shimering Star of Sepulchralis, and she summons an ethereal harp and strums it, giving us all a little frisson of pleasure.
Freki hears someone outside say, “Bilbo is one of them. Just play along. It will be funny.”
Now’s the time when we can prepare some rituals if we want. Lestache pops in and we have a short discussion where he agrees it’s time to introduce us.
The bell rings again and Malak the Mad, Mother of Malkavia and Father of Fascination, enters. They wave hello to us. Bec is still pretty sore about that time Malak tried to kill us…earlier today. The assorted vamps all look at each other.
Lestache apologizes on behalf of Malak, who says they didn’t try to kill us. Lestache believes there are good people on both sides of this conflict. Maybe it was a misunderstanding! (It was not a misunderstanding.)
All the vampires fall silent as Enoch the Wise, Lord of the Inner Council of Seven, enters. Etria plays an even fancier intro theme for him. He suggests we get the party started. Note for future research: can vampires get crunk?
Lestache tells us we can introduce ourselves, so we do, with Etria playing a little harp flourish between each of us. The vampires applaud politely. Lestache announces that the living guests are not to be harmed, and that we’ll have our own buffet, and then tells everybody to go ahead and make merry until the evening’s events start.
Etria summons a banquet for us. Hell yes, wish I could do that!
Ozbo notices that Troile (who was announced earlier as Troile the Rebel, the Peerless, Champion of Serene Wrath) is not dancing, and in fact they and their retinue have organized themselves in posts around the room. Ozbo pulls Troile aside and Panaches him with a side order of shameless flattery. Ozbo pulls out the vial of changeling blood and says, “I don’t know what this is, but it came out of my master when he sustained a wound. I think something horrible may have befallen him!” Troile thanks him and Ozbo slinks away.
The effects of the feast include curing us of disease and poison and making us feel generally invigorated. Bec is aware that the spell that created the feast should have taken 10 minutes, but only took her 1. Bec is enjoying her entire plate of celery and compliments Etria on her harp skill and the food. Bec and Etria dance, and they seem equally impressed with each other.
Ozbo gets into the ruse and figures out that although he is basically livestock, he works for The Master, so he gets what he wants if he plays that card. The power goes straight to his head, but he also uses the opportunity to spy on Troile.
Freki is wondering if the band is dead or halflings. Is anybody alive in this place? There are no ghouls or ghasts, just vampires…and no Lestache. Hmm. Freki catches a glimpse of him disappearing towards the front door in a sketchy way and tries to tail him casually. Some vampires intercept him and strike up a conversation about his werewolfiness and what forest he’s from. In an attempt to fit in, Freki says the Selva’s orc population has been “civilized,” but feels gross saying it. Since Freki is detained, he asks Hugin and Munin to follow Lestache and spy a little. Meanwhile, he chats with the vamps. They say it’s been a while since they had guests, since they usually, you know, eat them.
Lestache returns and Freki senses satisfaction, like something went well, and a bouncy anticipation. Freki asks about the vampire he’s talking to. This is Orrick of Clan Ventru.
Ozbo is watching Troile and Freki is watching Lestache, so they both watch when the two vampires have a quiet chat. Lestache looks mildly annoyed.
Bec and Etria are having a nice time talking about magic. Etria asks if she knows a spell that makes people never stop laughing. It’s her favorite! Etria is a devoted hedonist. She’s sick of having goals. It gets repetitive. She’s over 500 years old, and has concluded that nothing really matters. Bec says a benefit of being mortal is that you don’t really have time to get bored. Etria smiles and agrees. “It’s cute, really.”
Lestache comes and grabs Bec, telling Etria to have a good time. Etria says, “I was.” Hahaha. We all get collected and ushered away.
Once we’re all assembled, Lestache tells us to dispense with the charade and take off the silly Bilbo disguise. He seems rather unconcerned with out intent, but does want to know if we harmed Bilbo. Freki says none of us here did anything to Bilbo. Totally true, as Cal (wait… who is Cal…?) is not here. Somehow this all makes sense to us. He offers to answer all our questions.
Freki asks if the vampires could not treat the halfling village like a vegetable garden. Lestache understands his concern, but there’s no getting around it. This is just a city of undead monsters, man! Live and let unlive! He does find Oz very amusing, but he couldn’t play along after Oz tried the changeling blood thing. I admit that we barely know what Oz is going to do from minute to minute, ourselves.
A gong interrupts us. “He” is here, ugh. Lestache asks Oz to introduce him and says a bunch of words, which Oz probably didn’t catch, whoops.
Oz heads out and tells the guest that Lestache gave him instructions. Is the guest ready to come in? Goratrix Ceoris tells him “almost” and starts something that looks like, but is not exactly, spellcasting. He clenches his fist and we feel an ethereal shattering of some kind. “Now I’m ready,” he says, and enters.
Lestache wearily tells Goratrix he could have just extended an invitation, but Goratrix likes doing it this way. Of course he does.
Oz introduces him as “the hidden, the tiny, the pink man in the boat, Goratrix Clitoris!” Everybody laughs. Goratrix is mad, as Oz intended, but Lestache is like, “Obviously I didn’t tell him to do that. It was pretty hilarious, tho.”
Goratrix tries another spell-like incantation, but Lestache stops him from making a big scene. One of Goratrix’s entourage, Meerlinda Descant, introduces herself with the title “Weaver of Dreams” as reality appears to shift all around us. She then proceeds to announce another of Goratrix’s companions, Calderon the Cold, Bane of Spiderkind, with an illusion of Calderon destroying spiders. Then she performs three illusions as part of introducing Goratrix. The first is an important-looking room with Goratrix the most important (“Archmage of the Crispic Clan”). The second is the whole city, laid out before us (“Architect of Sepulchris”). The third is him ordering around a bunch of gargoyles (“Supreme Commander of Gargoyles”).
Lestache is all, “Do you have to do the whole thing every time, sheesh!” He starts calling Goratrix increasingly elaborate names (“Pompous cockolorum! Conniving snollygoster! You purveyor of falseness and untidy monstrosities!”). He’s getting all lathered up when Troile tells him to settle down.
Goratrix wanders off and Freki proposes getting him out of the way to Lestache. Lestache finds him irritating, but not enough to murder him, as it turns out. “He thinks he’s stronger because he broke into my manor and forced a good announcement, but it means nothing.” Lestache is not willing to ruin the party just to measure his…dominance…over Goratrix.
Freki asks him whether he’s quite sure he’s going to like all the surprises tonight. Lestache tells him there will be some kind of gladitorial event where Goratrix will come out on top, and then in the hunt, Lestache will reveal his trump card. “It’s all showmanship!”
From my investigations in the past hour or so, I have figured out there are probably at least seven vampire clans, of which I know the names of several: Ventru, Crispic, Brujah, the ones that Malak and Lestache belong to, and two more. Lestache, Troile, and Malak are allies. Etria is part of Lestache’s clan, which is probably why she has to defer to him.
We all head back into the ballroom. Bec goes to find Etria again and chats her up about the harp. Calderon finds Vondal and chats him up about hearing the voice of Lolth. He says his clan has worked hard to contain the spiders. Vondal says he can tell they’re still close. The tendrils of the Flux continue to grow, and will eventually tear this reality apart. Calderon wants to know how the Flux scarred him. Vondal says using his power is dangerous, plus he’s single! Calderon offers him a place with his clan where he can learn to master his power, if Vondal will serve with them to destroy the spiders and bring glory to their clan. “What kind of glory do you seek?” Vondal would like to publish another book. Calderon laughs and tells him to think about it.
Goratrix won’t approach any of us because we’re beneath him. Enoch comes over to talk to me, oh boy! He kisses my hand and invites me to sit down. He wants to know what happened with Invictus. He is super charming and probably has some kind of devil blood, like he was a devil that became a vampire. He brings me drinks and I tell him the story, maybe a little bit more than I intended to let slip. But basically, Invictus’s phylactery was cleansed, sending his clean soul back into his undead body, causing the massive explosion. I also tell him that Invictus is still there in the manor, but can’t get out.
Freki communes with his birds. Hugin and Munin land on his shoulder and “remember together.” He gets a flash of what the birds saw: Lestache and an unknown halfling are meeting. Lestache asks “Frokim” who he brought. She was a perimeter defender, fancied herself a captain, but that’s against the rules, so Frokim made sure she got caught and exiled. She’ll be on the outskirts of the southwest border, at the edge of Gangrel territory. Lestache wants to withhold payment until she’s delivered straight to him, but caves and pays Frokim. Lestache doesn’t really look too unhappy.
Freki asks if Hugin and Munin can find the captive halflings and let them free? They agree to look and say it would take time. The caves are endless, but they will search. Munin says Freki was destined for more than just “keeping the peace.”
There’s a brief vamp fight. The band stops playing while they fight, then starts up again when there’s a clear winner.
Later, Lestache (who is announced as “Your host Lestache de Lyarcourt, Fragrant Flower of the Château de Mécant) asks if everybody is ready for the first event of the evening. There’s a smattering of applause and someone yells, “What is it, Lestache?” He keeps doing his ringmaster thing. He promises he has something “weird and wonderful” and hypes up the crowd.
A big box, covered with a dark curtain, gets rolled into the hall. The curtain is pulled away with a flourish to reveal:
What even is that? It’s undead, probably unique, but I can’t tap into my knowledge proficiencies anymore! My goddess badge seems to have gotten all tingly, so I take it off and look at it. Erathis isn’t there anymore!!! Instead it’s Avandra on both sides! I hear her laughter in my mind. “Good job,” indeed. I am shook!
Bec is also astonished by this creature. It’s so creepy! It moves in jagged fits of blurred motion, hard to predict where it will be at any given moment. Lestache says he has clearly outdone himself, and I can’t really disagree. Even Goratrix is fascinated by this thing.
Malak steps forward and says, “I could try.” Lestache is like, “Are you ma – oh, I forgot.” Actually, it turns out Malak doesn’t actually want to fight for themself. There are three other very intense, crazy-eyed vampires ready to go. They’ve been working on a project. They all confer amongst themselves to see who remembered to bring the project.
Malak pulls a sword out of a sack. No! Reaches back in and pulls out nothing. “This bag is empty!” Then Malak turns the bag all the way inside out and an old man falls out. It’s Zombie Malachai!
Malak is unimpressed. Making dead people alive is old news. But the subordinates assures Malak that this is what is left of Malachai’s soul. It’s Ghost Malachai! Ghostachai? He says, “Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh” and Malak is onboard.
The two creatures don’t seem particularly hostile toward one another, so Lestache invites Goratrix to help out. Goratrix does one of his unique incantations and a forcecage appears around the creatures. The two-torsoed thing starts smashing against the bars of the cage. Ghost Malachai takes everything in and focuses on the two-torsoed thing, who shoots a ray of flame from its staff at Malachai—but it passes right through him. Malachai then rushes toward the creature, passing into her body and possessing her with his ghostly powers!
Then the two-torsoed thing phases through the bars of the cage!!! The vampires all jump back, and the thing zigzags out. One vampire somewhere in the crowd yells, “Rip off!”
Lestache is like, “Huh, that was unexpected.”
“That sucked!” heckles the heckler. Lucky for him vampires can’t eat other vampires. Can they?
Anyway, seeing as the crowd is getting restless, Lestache moves the hunt up from midnight to now. The quarry has arrived, so he just needs a few moments to prepare.
He leaves and comes back with Orlok (“the Lady of Whispers, Countess of the Underground”, to which she responds “I’m no lady”) and Elloia (“Warden of the Accursed Tunnels, Servant to None But Him”). Lestache announces the Council of Seven is complete. Another box gets wheeled in. Lestache says the quarry for today is something truly special. “A halfling guardswoman. She was a perimeter defender, and even fancied herself a Captain, and champion of the downtrodden! Her people repaid her service by exiling her from their wretched community.” He’s really playing this up.
Sophie Steelboots is her name, and she is looking hopeless. Lestache offers to let us join the hunt as “Clan SPI” if we ante up an item to throw in the pot. The quarry gets to choose one item to use, and the rest stay in the pot. If we win, then she goes free and we win the pot. But we have no protection if we join the hunt. The vampires are free to attack us however they want.
The vampire clans all pony up magical objects:
- Lestache / Toreador: Instrument of Illusions
- Enoch / Ventru: “The Ventru accept your gracious offer, and pledge in return this Needle of Mending
- Goratrix / Crispic: Bag of ten Mind Crystals of Subtlety
- Troile / Brujah: Ruby of the War Mage
- Elloia / Gangrel: Boots of False Tracks
- Malak / Malkavian: Manual of Gainful Exercise
- Orlok: “The Nosferatu decline to hunt. Nonetheless, just for fun: we offer this Sword of Retribution”
Sophie reaches for the sword. As her fingers grip it, a fire forms in her eyes, and her expression darkens…